At the ripe old age of 21, fresh out of university, I was convinced I knew everything there was to know about adulthood. Five years on and I’d love to sit down with my younger self and gently say: you may have slightly overestimated how much you knew…
1. One Real Friend Beats a Crowd of Strangers
It only takes one genuine connection, someone who sees you, hears you, and truly gets you, to shift your view on a situation. Science shows that just 10 minutes with a close friend can boost your mood and regulate your emotions.
You don’t need a crowd. You need one soul who makes you feel safe, understood, and deeply seen.
2. It Isn't Your Fault
I know you replay that moment, the argument, the decision, the thing you wish you’d done differently. But it wasn’t all on you. You were doing your best at the time, with what you knew.
It’s time to forgive yourself for being human. Everyone makes mistakes, so why are you only blaming yourself?
3. Younger You Would Be So Proud Of How Far You've Come
You’ve made it through things your younger self would never have imagined you'd have to survive.
You’ve grown, healed, learned, and kept going, even on the days it felt impossible. You’ve become a stronger version of yourself, and a younger you would be proud.
4. Home Isn’t A Place, It’s The People
You may have big dreams of wanting to keep travelling and never looking to settle in one place. But you’ll realise it’s not places you miss, it’s the people in those places you think about, that really make those memories special. Home isn’t a place, it’s the people you pour your time into, and who choose to pour their time into you.
5. When You Know Your Worth, Opinions Don’t Matter
The only person who can judge your choices and how you achieve your goals is you. You don’t need external approval to validate your decisions.
If something makes you feel good and aligned, that’s reason enough; if others choose to comment on it, that says more about them than it does about you.
Do what makes you happy.
6. Don’t Compare Your Path To Someone Else's
It’s so easy to look around and feel like you’re behind. That all your friends are further along, more successful, or just “doing life better.” But the truth is, no one has the exact same circumstances, background, or purpose. Your path isn’t meant to mirror anyone else’s.
Let go of the timelines you never agreed to, and honour where you are. Progress isn’t always loud or public, it’s often quiet, steady, and deeply personal.
7. Your Career Doesn't Have To Be Perfect In One Day
You don’t need to have everything figured out before applying for a job or stepping into a career.
Your career will evolve, just like you do. Starting from the bottom? So does everyone. It’s okay to take small steps, to learn as you go, and to not have all the answers right away. What matters is that you’re moving forward and enjoying the process. Think of your career as something you’re building for life, not just the next couple of years.
8. Healing Isn’t Linear - You’re Allowed To Be A Work In Progress.
Some days you’ll feel like you’ve taken huge steps forward. Other days might feel like you’ve slid backwards. That’s okay. Healing doesn’t follow a straight line, it curves, dips, loops, and restarts. It’s messy and human.
Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to reset. You’re allowed to still be figuring it out, just like everyone else.
9. You’re Not ‘Too Sensitive’
Sensitivity means you’re in tune with your emotions, aware of the energy around you, and capable of deep connection. The right person will appreciate you and your emotions, the wrong one will make you doubt them.
You don’t need to hide your emotions to fit someone else’s idea of “easy to handle.” Your emotions are valid. Your heart is not a weakness.
10. You Don’t Owe Anyone Anything
You are allowed to walk away from things that drain you. From people who don’t respect you. From expectations that no longer serve you. Your worth isn’t defined by how much of yourself you give to others.
You don’t have to explain your boundaries, justify your peace, or apologise for choosing what feels right. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish.
11. Love and Friendship Aren’t One-Way Streets
Real connection is built on mutual effort, care, and respect. You shouldn’t always be the one reaching out, giving, or making things work. Love, whether romantic or platonic, shouldn’t leave you feeling exhausted or unseen. The right people will show up for you too.
Relationships are meant to be balanced and you deserve that.
12. Their Relationship Isn’t Your Benchmark
It’s easy to compare, especially when it feels like everyone around you is settling down.
But love isn’t a competition. What works for them might not be what you need. The strongest relationships are the ones that feel right for you, not the ones that look perfect from the outside. Trust your own timing. Trust your connection. And don’t measure your happiness against someone else’s story.
13. You’re Allowed to Outgrow What No Longer Fits
Friendships, relationships, careers, places and, even hobbies, naturally change over time.
It’s completely normal to outgrow them. What once felt right may not anymore, and that’s okay. Letting go doesn’t mean you didn’t value those things, it just means you’re growing. Sometimes, the things you need to release are parts of yourself: old beliefs, habits, or identities that no longer serve who you’re becoming. You’re allowed to move on. You’re allowed to change.
14. It’s Never Too Late to Start Over
Changing your path might feel like a step backward in the moment,
but trust me - two, three, even four years from now, you’ll look back and be so grateful you had the courage to take that leap. Growth rarely feels comfortable at first, but it leads you exactly where you’re meant to be.
Sometimes the hardest decisions become the most rewarding ones.
15. Everyone’s on Their First Try, Too
We’re all just living our first lives, figuring things out as we go. So take it easy on yourself, and on others. Everyone’s doing their best, even if it doesn’t always look like it. Sometimes, all it takes is a little shift in perspective to understand where someone’s coming from.
16. Privacy Is Power
Not everything needs to be shared, and you shouldn't feel pressured to share it either.
Some moments, dreams, and plans are better protected in silence, not out of secrecy, but out of self-respect. Privacy gives you space to grow without outside noise or unsolicited opinions. When you stop oversharing, you start reclaiming your energy.
Quiet confidence is real power.
17. Admiration Is a Two-Way Mirror
It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and feel a twinge of envy and to wish you had their lifestyle or their confidence. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with being inspired by others or aiming for similar goals. But it's important to know that someone could also be looking at you the exact same way.
We all have something special, something others quietly notice and appreciate, even if we don’t see it ourselves. Learning to see the bright side of your own circumstances can be tough, and it may not come naturally especially when you're dealt a bad hand. But once you start seeing yourself the way others do, with admiration, respect and awe, it can become one of your greatest strengths.
18. Fitness Is a Journey, Not Just a Feeling
It’s easy to chase that post-workout high, but real fitness is about showing up, even when the endorphins don’t.
Some days feel powerful, and others feel like a slog. That’s normal. Progress isn’t measured by a single sweat session or a perfect routine; it’s built over time with patience, discipline, and self-kindness. Keep showing up for yourself - your body and mind will thank you.
19. Consistency Is Key
Motivation comes and goes and can be unreliable. What really moves the needle is consistency.
Even the smallest daily habits, when repeated over time, lead to big results. You don’t have to be perfect or make huge strides every day; you just have to keep showing up. That quiet discipline can build confidence, resilience, and long-term success.
20. Balance
Hustle culture glorifies being constantly busy, but real growth happens when you know when to push and when to pause.
Balance doesn’t mean doing everything at once; it means honouring all parts of your life. You don’t have to sacrifice your well-being to chase your goals.
Sustainable success comes from balance, not burnout.
21. You’re Allowed A Day Off
Taking a step back doesn't mean you're failing.
You’re allowed to pause, to breathe, to not be productive for a moment. Taking a day off doesn’t undo your progress, it helps protect it.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is nothing at all. Your body and mind need recovery just as much as they need effort. Rest isn’t laziness. Don’t feel guilty for slowing down or even taking a step back. Often, that pause is exactly what your body is asking for. Rest is part of the process, not a break from it.
22. Celebrate The Small Victories
You don’t need to wait for the big milestones to feel proud. Every step forward, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.
Got out of bed when you didn’t want to? That’s a win. Chose kindness when it was hard? That’s growth. Progress is made up of little moments, and when you start acknowledging them, you’ll realise just how far you’ve come.
23. Be Your Biggest Supporter
You are with yourself for the rest of your life.
It’s the most important partnership you’ll ever have and like any meaningful relationship, it takes time, care, and patience to grow. Nourish that connection. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the same grace you would offer others.
Only you truly understand your thoughts, your feelings, your journey, so don’t dismiss them. Support yourself fiercely, especially when no one else does. You deserve that kind of love from within.
24. The 222 Rule
If it won’t matter in 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years… then it doesn't deserve your energy.
The 222 Rule is a gentle reminder to zoom out. Not every mistake, comment, or setback deserves space in your mind. Take a breath. Ask yourself if it’s really worth the worry, because most of the time, it’s not.
Protect your peace.
25. Nothing about you needs fixing
You are not broken. You are not a project to be fixed. You are a whole, evolving human, growing, learning, healing.
Yes, there’s always room to improve, but that doesn’t mean you’re not already enough as you are. Stop trying to fit into someone else’s idea of perfect. You’re not meant to be flawless, you’re meant to be you.
26. Your Gut Is Always Right
Your gut feelings are powerful signals, even when they don’t make immediate sense. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Maybe your friends are doing it, but you don’t want to, listen to that gut instinct; it’s telling you it’s not for you.
Everything happens for a reason, and trusting that inner voice can save you from unnecessary detours. Your gut rarely steers you wrong.
As much as I try to live by these lessons every day, I still find many of them hard to follow. And I’m sure that with time, these lessons will evolve. In another 26 years, I’ll probably have a whole new list for my younger self. I’m still learning, still unlearning, still figuring things out just like everyone else.
So take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and make these lessons your own. They’re not rules, they’re prompts. Gentle nudges toward self-awareness, self-compassion, and a life that feels more like yours.
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